Framed A2 Sale poster by Statement Artworks

It's a strong and stable composition...or is it a composition of chaos? Hey, who cares about cheap slogans, it's just a picture painted by me about Sale in Greater Manchester, or is that Cheshire, or should we just say Trafford? Goddamit, why can't things be clear-cut in life? One thing I do know, though, is that this is my first framed A2 print of my new Sale picture (it's signed accordingly), and it's going on sale (more confusion) this Saturday and Sunday at Altrincham market, for £50, or you can reserve it, by emailing on First come first serve, first past the post, that sort of thing, just to labour the political metaphor. Anybody would think some kind of strange, weird election had taken place! Of course I'll have lots of smaller framed and mounted versions, too. We are also at the Northern Quarter market on Sunday.

And just one last thing. Went to London on Monday and Tuesday, and my London poster (also attached) never seemed more appropriate. Had a great time in Twickenham (very nice) with our lovely mates, and then it went downhill in the city itself. Southwark, home of Tate Modern, used to be our favourite bit, but now it looks like an even worse Dubai - crap apartment blocks creating wind tunnels, noice, congestion and a dystopian cityscape straight out of Orwell. Vile, and then we paid over £10 for two pints in a bog-standard pub. How do people cope with that? Ah, that train to Piccadilly...

Anyway, hope to bump into you in wonderful Altrincham and theNorthern Quarter over the weekend.

A2 framed Sale poster
London poster



Manchester's 10 Commandments

Ian Curtis, the late singer of Joy Division, may have been born and raised in Macclesfield, but he's still the cover star of my new Manchester's 10 Commandments poster.

Why? Because Curtis, along with the other band members who went on to form New Order after the singer's death, came to symbolise the renaissance and spirit of the new Manchester. The band and its label, Factory, spawned the Hacienda, which became the coolest club in the world and made Manchester one of the coolest cities in the world.

In my mind it still is - I still marvel at the architecture and luxuriate in the special attitude of the city's people - and my 10 Commandments hopefully reflects that love, albeit with a healthy dose of humour so we don't get too saccharine about this.

Below are the words, but they work best with the image. The whole package is now available on my website,, and at markets around the regions, including Knutsford, Altrincham, Wilmslow, Northern Quarter, West Didsbury and Macclesfield.


Thou shalt have no rock gods before Ian Curtis and the rest of Joy Division/New Order, Morrissey and Marr, John Squire, Guy Garvey and Noel Gallagher. Anyone found worshipping Chris Martin from Coldplay should be taken to a doctor straightaway.

Thou shalt not make false idols out of anyone who has played football for Liverpool, Chelsea or Leeds United (with the exception of Eric Cantona), or any of the local wannabes who have sung in a boyband.

Thou shalt not take the names of Maxine Peake, Christopher Eccleston, Steve Coogan, Tony Wilson, Alan Turing, Emily Pankhurst or Anthony Burgess in vain.

Remember the last day of the football season, when either United or City or both will have some new silverware in the trophy cabinet.

Honour thy father and thy mother, especially if they have taken you into Piccadilly Records from an early age, introduced you to any of the beers from the Marble brewery or bought you tapas at El Rincon de Rafa.

Thou shalt not play Meat is Murder by the Smiths too often, as good though he is, Morrissey can be a bit of a veggie bore at times. And anyway, Strangeways Here We Come is better.

Thou shalt not commit the adulteration of any of the beers in the Castle, Britons Protection, Peveril of the Peak or City Arms pubs.

Thou shalt not steal any of the clothes or goods from Afflecks Palace as it works on very tight profit margins and if it goes all we will be left with is high street chains.

Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour. OK, go on then if they are on a two-year secondment from Cambridge with Astra Zenica and the only places they ever go to are Wilmslow and Prestbury.

Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s wife, especially if she prefers the Trafford Centre to Manchester for shopping or ‘just doesn’t get’ Alan Partridge; or thy neighbour’s house, if it’s packed with pretentious artefacts picked up in Peru or Myanmar (what’s wrong with Debenhams on Market Street?); or thy neighbour’s ox (and the bloody chickens and guinea pigs too).